I was having a lovely Christmas Eve until 30 minutes ago. I’ve been listening to Christmas music, watching Christmas programs, doing a bit of knitting, and taking delivery of the Mazda Miata convertible my sil got my daughter for Christmas. Enjoying the day and feeling the spirit of Christmas. Until I tried to dig out the driveway so I could go see Ed. The more I shoveled, the deeper the snow got. When I got to the street and realized I would never be able to get my car through the snow sitting on the public thoroughfare, I gave up. I called the nh to see how Ed is doing, asked the nurse to tell him I love him, and came back to my solitary Christmas Eve. Somehow I’m not feeling the good vibes as much as I was an hour ago. To top it all off sometimes strenuous exercise makes me very nauseated. You guessed it – snow shoveling is strenuous exercise and my tummy is letting me know I shouldn’t have done that. Happy freaking Christmas! As soon as I get over wanting to throw up and my heart stops pounding I’m sure I’ll feel happier about things. I can’t even comfort myself with Christmas goodies – remember the upset tummy? But I’ll read a good book, find something funny to put on the tv, have a good laugh, and feel much better soon. I hope my friends are having a wonderful Christmas Eve. Tonight I will light a fire and read the account in Luke of Christ’s birth and remember that Christmas means more than the inability to visit my honey. I’ve survived much worse, and I’ll survive this, too. We have missed a lot of special times together because of the weather. Ed was a cross-country driver for most of our lives together. This time it’s me who can’t get to him rather than the other way ’round. 
